Being a Paralegal SUCKS!!!

[Grumpy Humbug]

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Read any of the blogs, Paralegal Hell, Superlegal Fun, Momalegal, A Paralegal's Life, North of the Hill South of Heaven...

Paralegal is a tough job.  All work, no play, no glory, no respect.  Sooo.... why do we do this again???

[LostParalegal]

*raises hand*

Because I'm locked into a lease for another 7 months and have no savings upon which to fall back?

[deepfriedparalegal]

*waving hand wildly in the air*

After taking those silly college aptitude tests to decide on a major, the counselor reviewed my results and came up with the top three career fields in which I would have a good chance of excelling in.

1. Something in the Arts (music theater, dance, acting) - which sounds great but makes very little money.  Plus husband wasn't too thrilled about possibility of moving to New York

2. Teaching - also sounds great until I discovered that it's hard to get a job teaching the two subjects I would most enjoy (History and English) because those are reserved for the athletic coaches

3. Criminal Justice/Legal Field - Thought about being a police officer, dad said NO WAY IN HELL I'M LETTING YOU GO TO THE ACADEMY. Then I found out about the paralegal program.  Turns out this was a good move for me.    I get to help people, watch attorneys who are paid $300 per hour bitch and moan about clients and opposing counsel, listen to all the juicy gossip and maybe make a difference.

[Momalegal]

Because I didn't go to law school because I was broke and already tired of school by the time I got my paralegal degree.. Also, by then I had some experience dealing with attorneys and decided I had made a wise choice.

Seriously, as much as I complain about having to work with attorneys, I do love my job.  Some parts not as much as others (*gag* depo summaries).  If we could find some way to brain wash the pain in the ass attorneys into acting like decent human beings, we'd have it made.  Also, brain wash them into coming off some cash, while we're at it.

[Norm-UH-Ray]

But just think for one minute how fun it would be to unionize!:)

[ParalegalHell]

I can just picture you standing with a huge sign that says UNION

[ParalegalHell]

I HATE my job.  I am seriously thinking about putting my resignation in soon because I can not take the Death Star anymore.  I don't have any jobs lined up, the job market in the Dallas area sucks right now for paralegals, but I honestly do not care.
I honestly have to puke every day before I put on my stormtrooper uniform and march to my office.

[Grumpy Humbug]

It's too bad Snark isn't a job skill.  We'd be rock stars in whatever career used it.

[LostParalegal]

Tactical negotiation is a skill, though....


Managing the expectations of clients versus the expectations of the attorneys versus the requirements of the court versus reality.


 


(by the way, note, I has a blog too now )

[Momalegal]

PH, I absolutely hate it for you!! No one should have to go through that every day. If you can swing it, its not worth it to put yourself through that much stress.

[Norm-UH-Ray]

I want to be the fine print on a paralegal school pamphlet or advertisement.

It would say:

Engage in legal research.  Try to research a poem written by Larry Flint which appeared in Hustler magazine, but "don't go to Hustler Magazine's website because I don't want you to be looking at porn on my dime.  Oh yeah, another thing, you should just know what I'm looking for because you're a paralegal, do your job."

This was in preparation for a hearing with the office of attorney regulation about a grievance someone (oh say, a JUDGE) filed against him.

While Larry Flint certainly has done a great deal for the First Amendment and free speech in this country, I didn't know he wrote any poetry that would help attorneys who may be facing disbarment.  Never did find that poem.

[HSF]

Pretty sure it's this one:

[ParalegalHell]

You seem to know a lot about Hustler, HSF.  You probably didn't even have to Google that, did ya?

[HSF]

Umm. Let's just say that AJEsq is my:

[AJEsq.]

LOL.   I'm going to need passwords and file locations first, SF.