The Office Pariah

Posted on | July 18, 2011 | 11 Comments

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Ever walk into an office with a bunch of chattering coworkers only to have the conversation end abruptly the moment you show your face? Well, if you’re a Storm trooper at the Death Star that just gave them notice you were leaving,  you  know that  if the conversation ended abruptly, it was about you.  That has happened A LOT since giving my notice and honestly, I love it.  Inside, I know they wish they could be like me.  Free in a few weeks and not a slave to the Death Star.  But, they can’t, so they instead, bitch about me behind my back and stand united in their jealousy.

The day I gave my notice, my manager called me into the office and told me to turn in my badge (the one that lets me inside the building) immediately.  She told me I would have to call from security every morning to have the receptionist walk me into the office.  Hee!  I am not sure if this was their way of intimidating me, but I didn’t give a shit.  I threw her my badge with a smile and walked away.  She called after me that I didn’t have to give it to her till the end of the day (I guess immediately means something different for the manager), but I just shouted back that it was fine, that she could go ahead and keep it now.

The poor receptionist has to go down to get me every day, but she doesn’t care.  With people leaving the Death Star, she does this all the time.  We’ve bonded a little and she said she can’t wait till she has to be walked up to the building because she is sick of the Death Star as well.  She has also given me awesome gossip- like the day I put in my notice, my manager got called in to Darth’s office and demanded to know what was “up” with the manager’s department because the turnover rate is out of control.  Ha!  I am sure the manager passed the buck, saying I was a shitty worker, blah, blah, blah, but it is nice to know that Darth knows her department is a disaster.  Since I put in my  notice, two other paralegals in the department have left as well.  Not that they will do anything about the crappy manager, but it makes me happy they will be so short handed for this month’s docket.

The receptionist also let me in on the rumors on why I am leaving.

Apparently, I ………….

1.  Am pregnant and want to stay home with the baby

2. Have to move to Sweden because HSF’s “green card” has expired.  For the record, HSF has dual citizenship.

3. Am so wrapped up in my upcoming wedding that I can’t concentrate on anything else, and decided to quit to plan our wedding 24/7 (who the hell really does this??)

And my favorite..

4.  Have a drinking problem (duh!) and will be going to an exclusive rehab facility in Wyoming.  Wyoming?  Who the hell thought of Wyoming?



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11 Responses to “The Office Pariah”

  1. Grumpy Humbug
    July 18th, 2011 @ 8:58 pm

    I like the green card thing.  You should play that one up with certain dropped hints.

  2. kimberleena
    July 18th, 2011 @ 11:14 pm

    You should send out a memo to clarify why you are leaving…You are pregnant, but have a drinking problem…need to go to Wyoming for rehab, before your wedding, which you need to plan 24/7–before packing up and moving to Sweden! 

    I was the pariah at my last job after I gave notice (everyone was bitter that I got out!)….but I didn’t care, because my freedom was looming!

  3. Paralegal
    July 19th, 2011 @ 12:15 am

    I love that idea. Brilliant!!!

  4. Aimtx
    July 19th, 2011 @ 1:18 pm

    Eh.  Fuck ’em.

  5. VCaturla
    July 19th, 2011 @ 1:42 pm


  6. Corporate Paralegal
    July 19th, 2011 @ 2:02 pm

    These are the best rumors!  I love the green card thing.  And I agree with Kimber and Grumpy.  Play it up!  Have quiet conversations in hushed tones on your phone.  Abruptly leave in the middle of the morning meetings with your hand over your mouth.  Have a bottle of Scope on your desk to cover the “smell.”  Enjoy your last few days on the Death Star messing with their minds.  Come on – Join the Rebel Alliance!

  7. Momalegal
    July 19th, 2011 @ 3:56 pm

    LMAO – those are hysterical!  I love the play it up idea!  And, uh, if HSF had a green card problem, wouldn’t you just go ahead & get married?  Duh.  

  8. Ty1220
    July 19th, 2011 @ 9:18 pm

    Shit !  Grumpy SWORE it was South Dakota and I had 50 bucks and a 12 pack riding on it. That’s the last time I gossip about PH without her help… Lol    Enjoy those last few days PH !

  9. Paralegal
    July 19th, 2011 @ 10:47 pm

    Grumpy has my back :).

  10. Superlegal
    July 20th, 2011 @ 2:25 pm

    Be careful with that 12 pack – I hear PH is an alcoholic!

  11. Paralegal
    July 20th, 2011 @ 3:04 pm

    Yep! Maybe I can take it with me to my rehab facility in Wyoming

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