Posted on | May 27, 2011 | 8 Comments

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Apparently, there is a “singing” contest every year in Europe and it is a HUGE deal. I only remember Eurovision when I was six, living in Australia and watching it on TV with my parents. Olivia Newton John was there and sang for the UK (so Australia was super excited), but that was the same year that the Swedes unleashed ABBA to the world. They sang Waterloo and I fell in love with them at that moment. I was such a huge fan, that I joined their fan club and still have their gold necklace they sent to the fans. Once again, between my love for ABBA and Dolph Lundgren, it was inevitable that I would find and fall in love with a man  from  Sweden.

After moving back to the states, I completely forgot about this competition. Honestly, I had no idea they still competed, but HSF knew and as we were in our hotel room in Arkansas for my cousin’s college graduation from nursing school, we listened live from the radio to the songs and the commentators from Sweden, which I didn’t understand, but totally cracked my shit up with the noises they made when Sweden did or did not get points for their performance.

So, here is a quick recap of what went down at this years Eurovision. It sucked because we had to listen to it on the radio, but when we got home, the videos of some of the performances are awesome (some in a very comical way).

So basically, Ken and Barbie from Azerbaijan won. Yes Azerbaijan. Never heard of it? Me either. They want to win. They brought their A game baby, but the song sucked. Seriously. This song does nothing for me. Nothing. At all. The whole thing is so cheesy, clichéd and contrite: from everyone dressed in white to the pseudo-duet. All it needs is some bloody sign language and we can all hop back to the nineties on our cloud of unicorns, puppies and rainbows. Aaaargh!! It makes me want to tear out my hair, it is that bad!
Here is the song and performance. I warn you, it sucks all kinds of ass..

Ell & Nikki – Running Scared (Azerbaijan)

So, let’s get to the awesome performances. First up is Blue from the UK. What confuses me is they come up to the stage dressed in green. Very bizarre. Modestly enough their backdrop consists of four gigantic videos of themselves. Gigantic. Shirtless. I mean, what the hell?? Blue, in case you’re from the US and have no idea who the hell they are, are a British boyband on a comeback. Kinda like N’SYNC, but not as good. This song was actually pretty good, if you’re big on the angsty, bombastic communist drama.  Only their singing is way off key, and their microphones are too low.

Here is their performance: Blue – I Can – Live – United Kingdom – Eurovision 2011 (HQ)

What’s this? Pet Shop Boys-background? It’s Ireland! My my, who’d have thought they are a sight to behold! Someone really needed to hand these guys their Ritalin, because they were all over the place. I certainly wouldn’t want them in my house, but on the Eurovision stage… well it’s all pretty awesome. How can they not know how ridiculous they are?

Here is their performance: Ireland: “Lipstick” – Eurovision Song Contest Semi Final 2011 – BBC Three

Last, but not least is SWEDEN!! I honestly liked this performance, and the song, which HSF has downloaded and plays a lot, has grown on me. I really liked the whole glass box and the special effects of him crashing the glass. However, I may be blinded due to my love of all things Swedish. Babyfaced Not-Gay-But-Sure-Looking-It men are quite the thing in this year’s contest. Eric (the singer) gets pawed by a lot of men in leather who show us their muscles. “My body wants you girl”, he sings. No, it doesn’t, you big liar. Go Sweden!

Here is Sweden’s performance: Eric Saade – Popular Eurovision Song Contest 2011 Sweden

In my opinion, Sweden should have won, but at least we are educated that their is a country called Azerbaijan. Education is always a good thing :)

Happy Friday!

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8 Responses to “Eurovision!”

  1. Magnus
    May 27th, 2011 @ 1:33 pm

    The stupid Popular song is now stuck in my head

  2. Paralegal
    May 27th, 2011 @ 4:28 pm

    Only because you have it blasting in the house right now getting your groove on. Well, as much as a Swede can groove.

  3. Grumpy Humbug
    May 27th, 2011 @ 2:47 pm

    Azerbaijan was part of the former Soviet Union that suddenly became independent in the early ’90’s when Communism collapsed.

  4. Paralegal
    May 27th, 2011 @ 4:27 pm

    Thank you Grumpy for that very special public service announcement.
    Now, back to our regular scheduled program

  5. Grumpy Humbug
    May 27th, 2011 @ 10:03 pm

    I live to serve, hot older sister.  Finally, my history degree comes in handy!

  6. Paralegal
    May 27th, 2011 @ 10:17 pm

    I love the hot, older sister comment :). It made my day!

  7. Michael
    May 31st, 2011 @ 2:53 pm

    I think Denmark should have won!  :p

  8. Paralegal
    May 31st, 2011 @ 5:40 pm

    Denmark was pretty good. You weren’t rooting for Blue?

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