Weekend Shopping

I thought I’d seen everything, ladies and gentlemen. When the Berlin Wall fell November 9th, 1989, once again uniting East and West Germany, I cried. When Tootie used a Hearse to take her driver’s test in episode #147 of The Facts Of Life, I weeped with joy*. But after this weekend, it became clear that I, in […]

Sound Advice

My good friend, Mrs. Paralegal sent this to me.  I thought it was cute.. If you can’t be kind, at least have the decency to be vague. If you lend someone $20, and never see that person again, it was probably worth it. Always read stuff that will make you look good if you die […]

I Resign

NO- not what you think.  I found this and thought it was really cute, so I had to share… I Resign Unknown author I am hereby officially tendering my resignation as an adult. I have decided I would like to accept the responsibilities of an 8-year-old again. I want to go to McDonald’s and think […]

Sunday Blues

I’ve noticed a new trend of mine. While I should be enjoying my weekends and days off; I find that every Sunday I get the blues. All day I have “heading back to work” in the back of my head. Instead of relaxing or enjoying my day I sit and dread Monday (and the rest […]

Choose Your Own Adventure: Paralegal Style

When I was in middle school, these books were popular. If you remember them, then you rock. If you are too young, I don’t want to fucking hear about it. I already feel old enough. CHOOSE YOUR OWN ADVENTURE: I AM A PARALEGAL You are a paralegal Your workplace depends on you to perform the […]

Tips When Visiting New York

I can’t tell you how many emails I have had that have asked me for tips about New York if they decide to vacation/visit there. Here is my list of tips. #1 Don’t Come To New York City Don’t come to New York. Seriously, there are so many other places to visit.  I hear Portland […]


I was offered a job recently by an attorney, who I considered a friend.  They had a paralegal opening for their their Personal Injury portion of their firm and he called me in for an interview. The decision, of course, was not his to make.  It would be the head of the firm and the […]

Fun With Clients

Client: “Why do you lock people out of your bathrooms?” Me: “I’m sorry, sir. We have a key here. I’m happy to give it to you. The building keeps the restrooms locked so that people can’t walk in off the street and use them.” Client: “Well, what good does that do me now? I thought […]

What NOT To Get Your Love On Valentine’s Day

Here’s a list of what NOT to give her for Valentines Day: 1.  A box of chocolates, clumsily rearranged in an attempt to hide the fact you ate all the carmel ones. 2.  Lingerie that you think will look almost as good on her as on the Victoria’s Secret model. 3.  Any clothing item with […]

A Brand New Day

Readers, today is a good day.  No, I didn’t find another job, but Gateway and I finally see eye to eye.  Yes, you read that right.  Gateway and I finally “get” each other. After many email exchanges between myself and Paralegal  Gateway, we finally understand what we were both trying to accomplish and came to […]

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