Work Excuses

Posted on | January 14, 2011 | 8 Comments

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  1. Sorry Boss I can’t come into work today…my spirit guide says work is for losers!
  2. I’m just checking to make sure everything is okay with my not coming in today. I hope you haven’t forgotten about our little agreement at last year’s Christmas party.
  3. The dog ate my car keys. We’re going to hitchhike to the vet.
  4. I just found out that I was switched at birth. Legally, I shouldn’t come to work, knowing my employee records may now contain false information.
  5. I have a rare case of 48-hour projectile leprosy, but I know we have that deadline to meet…
  6. I can’t come to work today because the EPA has determined that my house is completely surrounded by wetlands and I have to arrange for helicopter transportation.
  7. I am extremely sensitive to a rise in the interest rates.
  8. I died and won’t be in today. Monday earliest.
  9. The company coffee supply is outta macadamia nut coffee. I have to fly to Hawaii to get some.
  10. A meteor fell through my roof and as I ran from the house to get in the car, an alien swooped down and abducted my car keys, then I got on a bus, which plunged over a cliff. I climbed up the cliff to find a phone to call in late, when someone informed me that my workplace was sucked into a vacuum and wound up in another country. I missed the last flight, so I’ll be late.

I think I will use #10 on Monday.

Have a great weekend everyone.  I plan on catching up on posts this weekend.  I have SO MUCH to tell you about the Death Star.


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8 Responses to “Work Excuses”

  1. Work Excuses – Paralegal Hell
    January 14th, 2011 @ 7:41 am

    […] More here: Work Excuses – Paralegal Hell […]

  2. Work Excuses – Paralegal Hell | Legal and Law Info
    January 14th, 2011 @ 8:31 am

    […] See the rest here: Work Excuses – Paralegal Hell […]

  3. Practical Paralegalism
    January 14th, 2011 @ 5:56 pm

    Oh, man, my dog really *did* eat my car keys.

  4. Paralegal
    January 16th, 2011 @ 8:40 pm

    Oh no! Poor doggie!!

  5. TxParalegal
    January 14th, 2011 @ 10:33 pm

    My dad (who is a ‘proper’ Texas bubba) has his favorite: “I have anal glaucoma. I just can’t see my ass coming in to work today.” Enjoy the weekend – looking forward to more on the DS 😉

  6. Paralegal
    January 16th, 2011 @ 8:41 pm

    Love it!!!

  7. NVParalegal
    January 15th, 2011 @ 7:14 pm

    My daughter accidently threw my car keys away once

  8. Paralegal
    January 17th, 2011 @ 7:03 pm

    My son flushed my keys down the toliet once. Good times

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