Stuff On My Desk This Morning

Here is a total list of shit I found on my desk this morning. Bulb for outside the building. Philips 125W. Broken. Pen refill.  Doesn’t fit my pen. 585-4508. Whoever you are, I can’t read your name on the post-it note. Discovery Request from a file no one can find. Job application from someone who […]

Things I Know About The Interns

Thanks to the paper thin walls and the fact that ALL the college interns sit outside my door, I know know more that I ever wanted to about them. For example: One intern really has to go to the bathroom, but is too terrified of “potty seat creepies.” One intern is secretly engaged in an […]

My Tuesday

I bought two two-liter bottles of Coke. The cashier put them in a bag, handed it to me and said, “Be careful – that’s heavy.”  Darth Vader needed a caffeine fix, so I had to run across the street to get the damn bottles. I smiled, took the bag and walked out of the store. […]

New Software for The Death Star

I’m in a ‘ranty’ mood today. I didn’t sleep much over the weekend, stayed up working on Discovery for my attorneys. Actually, I’ve been in a mood for a few days now, but it’s work-related (shocking, I know). I found out Friday that one of the attorneys proposed a new document system to the Senior […]

Rubbernecking

Have you ever been in a situation that you knew was not good for you?  You try your hardest to make the best of the situation, but you just feel you are moving at warp speed toward a brick wall. Yes- this is how it is at the Death Star. The harder you work, the […]

Crazy Pills

At work again at The Death Star, only this time I think I might kill someone. It would seem to me that when you sign to use the big conference room from 9am-12pm, you’d be done right around 12pm. and the next person after you, who is signed up from 12-3pm, could start around 12pm […]

Fun With The Phone

Me: “Death Star, how can I help you? Caller: “You are suing my wife and I.  We are dead!” Me: “Excuse me- you are dead?” Caller: “Not me, my wife.  I don’t own this house anymore and you are suing a dead person.: Me: “Actually sir, we are suing the estate.  If you were married […]

Martin Luther King, Jr.

This day we honor a man who dared to buck the system and show the powers that be what they really looked like. A man who said he had a dream and shouted it from the mountain tops. A preacher worthy of a celebration in his honor because of what he stood for, what he […]

Work Excuses

Sorry Boss I can’t come into work today…my spirit guide says work is for losers! I’m just checking to make sure everything is okay with my not coming in today. I hope you haven’t forgotten about our little agreement at last year’s Christmas party. The dog ate my car keys. We’re going to hitchhike to […]

I Work With Female Geese on the Death Star

Have you ever watched geese at the park…especially when you are feeding them?..they squawk loudly…nip and chase each other out of the way…there is usually a dominant one in the flock who is the loudest bully of them all…. Well, those are the type of women I happen to work with….these wenches are notorious…they nip […]

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