I Work In The Death Star

Posted on | December 23, 2010 | 8 Comments

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Seriously, this can be the ONLY explanation for what I see and do on a daily basis.

I, apparently, am a lowly Stormtrooper working for the Evil Empire which includes the Horrible Emperor, Darth Vader and the ass clown Admirals that run around doing their evil master’s bidding and trying to look busy.

HSF: “How was your day at the Death Star, sweetie?”

Me: “Well, you know the really nice Stormtrooper that I told you about that worked next to me?  Well, Darth Vader had something crawl up his ass today and used that shitty Jedi trick and choked her!  She is totally dead now.  What an asshole!

HSF: “How was your day at the Death Star, sweetie?”

Me: “It sucked.  A bunch of whiny Admirals decided at the last minute to have a meeting and had me running around like a total bitch getting fucking cookie trays and punch for this important meeting.  What totally sucks balls is that I ran around and get all their bullshit and after the meeting, when I go in to clean up, The Emperor, Vader and the ass clown Admirals didn’t even touch the damn cookie tray or the punch.  Bastards.

HSF: “How was your day at the Death Star, sweetie?”

Me: “It blew.  You know how I was assigned a project with another Stormtrooper?  Well, we have gotten to know each other pretty well and the project was starting to be fun because the other Stormtrooper cracked me up.  The project was just about done, when it was called to some Admiral’s attention that me and the other Stormtrooper were forming a “clique” and they couldn’t have that and transferred the fun Stormtrooper to another project.”  “At least Vader didn’t choke the bitch!”

HSF: “How was your day at the Death Star, sweetie?”

Me: “OMG- the Emperor went fucking nuts today!  He didn’t like the legal work that two Stormtroopers were producing, so he grabbed them both, screamed that they were fired and then threw them out the cargo door!  Right before Christmas!  These Stormtroopers had families, honey!  The Emperor is such an asshole.  Why couldn’t he throw them out the cargo door after Christmas?  It’s not like we are super busy right now.  God – he is such a douche!

PH

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Comments

8 Responses to “I Work In The Death Star”

  1. you and the law » I Work In The Death Star – Paralegal Hell
    December 23rd, 2010 @ 2:01 am

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  2. I Work In The Death Star – Paralegal Hell | Fantastic Legal Information
    December 23rd, 2010 @ 4:02 am

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  3. I Work In The Death Star – Paralegal Hell
    December 23rd, 2010 @ 5:04 am

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  4. I Work In The Death Star – Paralegal Hell « judicial system report
    December 23rd, 2010 @ 5:54 am

    […] more: I Work In The Death Star – Paralegal Hell Related Posts:Why Can't I Work With This Person? – Paralegal Hell Former paralegal […]

  5. Grumpy Humbug
    December 23rd, 2010 @ 1:40 pm

    HA! Perfect analogy. Law firms = The Empire. So who are the Rebels?

  6. Momalegal
    December 23rd, 2010 @ 3:54 pm

    LMAO – I agree, perfect analogy! Thanks for the laugh, I just wish it wasn’t at your expense. :(

  7. Corporate Paralegal
    December 23rd, 2010 @ 7:48 pm

    Too funny. And I think that this can be applied to the corporate world as well. Unfortunately, we in the corporate world are more like those expendable droids from the Series 1 through 3.

    Hang in there. Darth Vader eventually turns good and the Death Star is destroyed!

  8. Magnus
    December 23rd, 2010 @ 8:06 pm

    Star Wars Christmas special (new one):
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QMmaO6MzK4E

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