What I Am Thankful For…

Posted on | November 23, 2010 | 10 Comments

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It’s that time of year again – a time when we traditionally look back over the previous year and think about all the things we should be thankful for. It’s a time to remind ourselves to see that our glass is not half empty but really half full. Here are just a few things I am thankful for this time of year.

I am deeply thankful….

That over the past twelve months none of my three children ever once seriously contemplated the use of lethal weapons against their siblings(if you don’t count pepper spray) in their daily shouting matches over whose turn it is to empty the dishwasher, mow the lawn, or who caught who wearing the other’s jacket, played with their toy or didn’t get enough Xbox time. (Editor’s note: The two smiling, cooperative children doing dishes happily in the photo above bear no resemblance to my actual choldren when they do the dishes. I am convinced these are child actors.)

That each weekend, as soon as I have finished doing the laundry, cleaning up dog hair, getting the groceries, trying to get HSB to  fix the virus problem on our kids’ computer, vacuuming the house, helping Oldest with his (insert random school project), working on my blog, getting HSB to fix the clog in the kids’ bathroom toilet, negotiating a temporary peace agreement between Oldest and Middle  over who actually caused the toilet to clog, and figuring out whose college education we will need to fore go in order to pay the 17 past due bills, I can finally relax and watch the final seven minutes of Glee.

That I am not James Heselden, the owner of the company that builds Segways – those little two-wheeled novelty vehicles that you see once every five years and think to yourself “Man, I haven’t seen one of those things in five years.” The company did very badly this past year. Mr. Heselden did worse. He died this year from an accident – caused when the Segway he was steering went over a 30-foot cliff into a river. Rest in peace, Mr. Heselden.

That I don’t know a single person personally who openly admits to being a member of the Tea Party. I hope this streak continues.

That I have a day job and which thankfully pays far better than my blog site does. (But YOU can change this. You can have your very own Exclusive Sponsorship of Paralegal Hell for a full year for just $150,000. For details, call me toll-free at 1-800-RUA-FOOL.)

That as much of a disaster as the boys rooms continues to be, with empty coke cans and candy wrappers on the floor,  clothes thrown randomly around the room, and the mess that is under their beds, there is not a darn thing I plan to do about it until next spring.

That I am still able to teach my aerobics classes two times a week and work off the stress from the week. (No- that is not a picture of HSB below.  If it was HSB, he would have a cigarette hanging out of his mouth while working out.)

That despite some harrowing moments last month in my first ever yoga class, I somehow survived and was able eventually to reunite with my family and tell them about my terrifying ordeal.

That I discovered the brilliant TV sitcoms, Modern Family and Glee (the best comedies on TV in years) and that I am reminded with each new episode that my kids are no more narcissistically self-absorbed and text-message-addicted than most other kids these days and that they will eventually grow out of this annoying phase – shortly after I am deceased.

Thta ths yrea I fnaly larened how 2 txte msseage. I msut sya, its os esay. I thnik I hvae the hnag of ti.

That over the course of 2 years, HSB  has steadily lowered his standards with each successive year as to what he requires of me, and for reasons incomprehensible to me, continues to let me live in the same house with him

Finally, I am enormously thankful to have the opportunity to write my blog knowing that there are at least seven or eight of you out there still willing to put up with me week in and week out. I just have one question for you: Have you no literary standards whatsoever? Don’t you know there are POSITIVE blogs out there about our profession? (OK, that was two questions).

Happy Thanksgiving to you and the important loved ones in your world.


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10 Responses to “What I Am Thankful For…”

  1. Momalegal
    November 23rd, 2010 @ 2:28 pm

    LMFAO! As to the last question(s), hell no and yeah, but they aren’t as awesome as yours! :) Hope you have a wonderful Thanksgiving- Love ya!

  2. Paralegal
    November 24th, 2010 @ 8:40 pm

    You too!

  3. Corporate Paralegal
    November 23rd, 2010 @ 2:47 pm

    Am I a horrible person because I laughed about the segway guy? And I agree with Momalegal in answering your questions and would add: “Positive”, yes. Reallistic about our profession? No – except yours and a few others (Momalegal included).

    I am thankful….for your blog!

    Happy Thanksgiving – bring on the pumpkin pie.

  4. Paralegal
    November 24th, 2010 @ 8:40 pm

    Awww thank you! I am thankful you read it!

  5. Grumpy Humbug
    November 23rd, 2010 @ 4:15 pm

    I’m thankful for the beef brisket place on the way home from the office… thankful for having an office door I can close to let my blues collection play…

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  10. Cheri S.
    November 25th, 2010 @ 8:52 pm

    Ok I should have known better than to read your damn blog while still recuperating from operation hell… but I am thankful for the many laughs you bring into my life.. any other time than right now!! :) Hope you had a wonderful Thanksgiving!

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