Searches That Found Paralegal Hell

Posted on | September 27, 2010 | 7 Comments

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1. Lick My Ovum-  WTF?  Is that possible?  It sounds quite painful to me.

2. New Paralegals-  Hi.  Welcome.  Yes, my job sucks, but keep reading.  It will get better one day.

3. Paralegal Respect-Ummm, no.  You won’t get any.

4. Ronnie Bryant, Seattle-  Hi Ronnie.  Apparently, someone is looking for you.  Keeping my fingers crossed that it isn’t a crazy ex.  Good luck!

5. Swedish Boyfriend-  Yes, I already have one.  I am not sharing.  Find your own.  Hint- go to Sweden.  There are tons of Swedish men there.

6. Aquarium Eel Stories-  Hmmm.  How could any stories, except mine, be entertaining?  I am hoping this is for a science project and not the same perv who looks for “eel fucking stories”. 

7. Bitch Paralegal-  Hi!  Happy Monday!

8. Can a Paralegal date a client? Well, I guess so.  But why the hell would you?  If you want me to hook you up, I have tons of clients that are single.  They are in active bankruptcy, but if you aren’t picky, just let me know…

9. Cherry Capital Airport Noise Complaints-  Seriously- can those damn planes keep it down?  These people need sleep.

10. Can I Interrupt My Boss? Yes- I do it all the time.  Just make sure you have no delusion that they will listen to you.

11. Didn’t Know About Paralegals-  This HAS to be a search from a law student.  I am not kidding.  I can’t tell you how many law students have no idea that Paralegals exist or what they do.

12. Glee- Did Santana get a boob job?  Read my Glee preview for your answer.

13. I Suck At Staff Meetings-  Then stop having them.  Your employees will probably throw a parade in your honor for not wasting their time anymore.

14. I Am Fed Up With My Wife- Well, sorry about that.  Have you tried vodka?  It may help.

15. No Clowns Coffee Mug-  God.  There should be a No Clowns policy everywhere, not just for coffee mugs.  Creepy bastards.


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7 Responses to “Searches That Found Paralegal Hell”

  1. Momalegal
    September 27th, 2010 @ 5:18 pm

    Someone found my blog using the search “Who is paralegal hell”.

  2. Paralegal
    September 27th, 2010 @ 5:39 pm

    They’ll never know my true identity!’ (insert evil laughter).

  3. Momalegal
    September 27th, 2010 @ 5:43 pm

    Ha! They were definitely looking in the wrong place – LMAO

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